more laughter in the dark dept

Of course, this is a classic Onion and bloody hilarious, and, naturally, frightening at the same time:

Bush Begins Preparations For Nation's Final Year

WASHINGTON-The president assured citizens he would do everything possible over next few months to promote a smooth transition into utter oblivion.

Drunken quotes from the throat of midnight

Bugs Bunny: "... batten down the hatches!"

supporting character: "But, Captain, we've already battened down the hatches."

Bugs Bunny: "Well, batten them down again. We'll teach those hatches!"